I’ve come to the end of my semester at uni. That’s almost three years down and one more to go. I say almost because I have my exams to get through first. I’m not going to lie, I’m feeling the stress! As usual, I’m trying to revise but feel like nothing is going in. When I go into panic mode, it just sets me off on my usual rants about examinations. I still do not see the benefit of exams as, in my opinion, it only proves you have a good working memory. To really see if someone has understood the content, assignments like essays and reports seem more beneficial to me. Maybe it’s just my learning style but I retain more information and can show my knowledge and understanding better that way. So as usual, I’ve started overanalysing everything about what’s going on (any reason to procrastinate really). Bare with me for this part because it’s quite a tangent from my usual things!
I was chatting to one of my best friends yesterday and we had one of those conversations where it felt like you were putting the world to rights (definitely my favourite kinds of chats!). I hate conflict. I think it is important that we disagree on certain areas as not everyone will see eye to eye. But lately, I feel like it’s gotten extreme! Pro-vax vs anti-vax, millennial vs boomers, indy vs union… it goes on! I personally feel that everyone is entitled to their opinions and no one should shove their agenda down the others’ throats. It bothers me that both sides are bad for this… that’s the one thing some of them have in common, ironically! Maybe it’s the pandemic that’s brought it all to the surface so it is infecting everything around us. It’s like you can’t be slightly on one side of the argument but you have to be 100% one side or the other.. and honestly.. it’s exhausting!
I am probably someone who likes to take in everything so I can look at the bigger picture so I don’t tend to take sides. I know this pisses off a lot of people sometimes but it’s no wonder anxiety is so strife! You’re wrong if you take a side and you’re wrong if you don’t take either side. Has anyone stopped to think how the media is actually encouraging this divide? They report on the extremists on both sides which causes a bigger divide! I know this is wishful thinking, but could we just chill out for a bit? Work together to move forward? Everyone’s opinion needs to be considered but arguing gets us nowhere.
Maybe it’s an ego thing. If we think our opinion matters more than others then we will only seek out evidence to back up our own beliefs. I think we can all be guilty of doing this as when someone comes along and shakes up our understanding, we get defensive. Which is totally understandable but if uni has taught me anything.. question everything! Even the things that support your ideas! In other words, take everything with a pinch of salt.. nothing is ever fully proven. But most importantly, don’t take everything so seriously!
I need humour in my life, it’s the way I deal with things. Those closest to me know how dark my sense of humour can be. I know it’s not for everyone which is why I only share it with those who are the same. I also have a dirty sense of humour too but that’s not what I’m talking about today! Sometimes laughing about something really dark puts things into perspective for me and reminds me to chill the fuck out! I would hate to offend anyone with it though so I tread very carefully. Right now, I really need a good laugh to forget about the stress of uni exams and life in general. Try and surround yourself with people who keep you laughing and make you feel good about yourself because it’s infectious (probably not the best word to use in current times)! Before you know it, you end up being the source of happiness for others around you. That’s my goal in life really. I don’t care if I become mega famous or mega rich, have a massively successful career (although that would make my life easier!), I’d rather be remembered for being a kind hearted person who kept everyone laughing and uplifted. I realise that this blog might beg to differ but it’s my own personal space to vent and get my thoughts in order so I can get on with real life.
As crazy as it sounds, I often find myself wondering what others think of me. Not for shallow reasons but I really hope that the important people in my life see me as a positive influence or funny in some way. In other words, I hope I bring some form of joy to them. That’s why it can be hard to open up when I’m not doing so well. This is why I like having this space, it means I can get it out without interruption. But does anyone else wonder what people would say about you after you’re gone? Or is that just my weird brain?!
Anyway… I think that’s enough procrastination for one day! I better get on with revising foraging behaviours in animals for my psychology exam ! But I will leave you with this..
Please remember that people are allowed to have a different opinion from yours. People are allowed not to have a fully formed opinion. Choose kindness over pettiness because you just don’t know what someone is going through. And mostly.. keep on laughing so hard until you cry laughing and/or stop making a noise but your whole body is still jerking about!